a shitty meijer experience.

meijer, the store. its open 24 hours. it has everything from groceries, to furniture, to a mini cafe, to the purple cow (ice cream). it also has a public bathroom. and so here is my story...

i was substitute teaching. am i safe to say that most jobs, if you need to use the restroom, you can take a two minute break and leave your work area? subbing, or working at the daycare for that matter, i am stuck. i have to think about how much im drinking and about when i think i may have to pee. at the daycare, i usually time it so i can go during nap, or lunch, when the kids are virtually occupied in one area at the same time and its easy for someone to cover me. subbing is a completely different story.

luckily, i was at a junior high where there's five minutes between classes, an hour long "prep" (meaning no kids), and a half hour lunch. so, i drank my water like it was noone's business. i timed it so i would goto the bathroom at the end of my prep. i taught two classes that morning, then lunch and prep were back-to-back, so i wanted to go at the last possible second cause i was teaching three classes in the afternoon and the bathroom was on the other side of the school. no worries.

well, my plan worked until my second class came in that afternoon. i had to pee so badly. but i told myself to wait... and wait i did. have you ever waited so long, that you forget you had to pee in the first place? well, that happened to me. as long as i was moving and keeping my mind busy, i completely forgot.

at the end of the day, i left the school, walked across the street to my car and realized, "i have to pee", but i didnt want to walk all the way back to the school. i figured, id be fine until i got home (about a twenty minute drive). so im driving, talking to my dearest friend and fellow art educator, jenn, on the phone, listening to music... i forget again. i called nick when i was close to home seeing what he wanted for dinner. i decided to take a side trip to meijer before heading home.

as soon as i pulled into the meijer parking lot, it hit me like a trend, i had to peeeee!! but, like i mentioned at the beginning of this very long winded entry, that meijer has a public restroom. i parked on the opposite side of the store that i would have normally parked on so i can use this convenient service. i practically ran into the store (shoppers probably thought i was in love with being there). im sure the look in my eyes made me look crazy.

i get in the restroom and felt so lucky to one, finally have a chance to pee and not have to go far to shop, and two, the second stall from the end was available (if possible, i take the second one from the end). i pretty much, you guessed it, ran in there. i pee like theres no tomorrow. i look down for a second and had to do a double take... a smear. poop. people poop. i had stepped in, what im assuming was, people poop. what a shitty meijer experience.