new...

im not exactly sure what im doing with this blogspot thingie. i started my new log. i hope you enjoy the fresh feel i am trying to go for.

procrastination.

dang its been a while... there are alot of things i can think about to write in here, but i cant get myself to do so. i dont really like spilling my guts on the interweb. i find it kind of weird...

pretty soon i would like to change the look and feel of my log. i have a few ideas of the direction id like to go with it. perhaps, when i actually stop being a procrastinator (something im really good at), then there will be more posts in here.

soon...

YELLING.

while driving home from work the other day, i got stopped at a red light. i was in a right/strait lane which was next to a right turn only lane. now, am i correct by stating that if the light is red, and you ARE allowed to turn, youre NOT obligated to turn? being a nice day out, i had my windows down, no music, just enjoying the breeze and the sound of cars driving by (i like that sound). i heard a very loud voice coming from a couple cars away and i thought to myself "someone is talking on their phone for the world to hear"... then i hear a honk right before the light turned green and it startled me. i look over and the man in the right turning lane didnt turn on red and the guy behind him honked and was screaming "GO! FUCKING JERK! HOLDING UP FUCKING TRAFFIC!" both cars turned and the man that honked then drives maybe 20 under the speed limit???

it just got me thinking of how silly little things can really piss people off. i have been told i have "road rage"... not to where im honking and cutting people off, but just that i yell things (with the windows up) that are uncalled for? i never thought so, but listening to this man yell at this older gentlemen (his window up so i doubt he even heard the rude comments) made me stop and think about what it is i do when i drive. i dont want it to ever come to that!!

as i continued to drive, some old lady and her little lap dog were in such a rush that they (yes, they, her and her dog) were driving in and out of traffic. they ended up behind me and started riding my bumper! the old me would drive slow on purpose and if they tried getting around me, i would then speed up and play games. but i just let them continue to drive in and out of traffic. theyre bound to get in an accident sooner or later.

i dont really know what to add to this... or how to end it. however, speaking of windows down:
i was driving home from work today and was stopped at the same red light. i heard a man yelling in the lane to the left of me. i didnt make out what he was saying because i had the radio on, but i turned it down in hopes to hear something. and something i did: "YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT WHEN YOURE IN FIRST GRADE?!?!?!" yikes. id hate to be that five year old right then.

earth day.

i was never into recycling (except pops cans... deposits, duh!). but since i moved in with nick, its been so different. he got me into recycling. now, when im at work, or someone's house, all i see is recyclables. its nuts.

last week i was at my parents, and in the kitchen is a very large garbage can, but i didnt see any garbage in there... just recyclable goods! it tore me up a little inside cause i know i was once like that.

i went grocery shopping today. i used bottle slips and saved just over $6. beforehand, i went through my coupons and put in my paper recycle bin all the expired ones. i then purchased two reusable bags (already owning two) and filled those bad boys up. i used four reusable bags instead of, i dont know, 20 plastic ones!

ive been into yogurt lately and have been rinsing the cups out when done to place in the plastic bin. if i buy clothes, i recycle the price tags. (just to name a couple ways i help out).

today, for earth day, i made my bank statements, college loan statement, and credit card statement, all go paperless! its an addiction!

and although at the daycare there is a dress code, i purchased a green shirt to wear to promote earth day. i am even going to print a photo of the earth and tape it to my belly (and then recycle the picture, of course!).

im not perfect at it. i still throw away things sometimes for the sake of convenience, but i hope that if you dont recycle, reuse, or reduce, you appreciate those who do. we are just trying to make this place a little more livable for the short time we have on it. what a beautiful planet God so graciously made for us.

happy earth day everyone!

[kinda sorta]

today i discovered that i might kind of like cottage cheese a little.
im not sure why, but i am a little embarrassed to admit to this.
i am all about the texture when it comes to food and cottage cheese is NOT texturific.

i think i might just have to add this to the grocery list.

ooooooh the possibilities i will have with this new found [kinda sorta] liking!

finally.

yesterday i spent majority of my day cleaning up, what is going to be, my art studio. i think it may have been the sun that was my key motivation tool. ive had all winter to get this thing rolling but yesterday, i woke up thinking about it... so i cleaned it out, sorted through things mainly, washed the walls, filled in holes, vacuumed... its looking more like a room-to-be rather then storage.

im not quite sure how exactly i want to arrange it all. im thinking some of this tax return money will go towards sprucing the little thing up. i wanted to finish with the walls today, but something called "work" is putting a damper on this newly found motivation.

lately i have been wanting to paint. i havent painted in so long. i cant wait to have a sink in the same room i paint. it beats having to go down to the basement to clean my brushes, thats for sure! my whole life i have been doing art work on my bedroom floor, this whole room dedicated to creating art is almost overwhelming. i feel a bit guilty in a way.

this entry is kind of lame. i guess i just needed to express the excitement/overwhelming feeling i have about the whole thing.

i am yellow, pt 2

you know andrea's sick when you find an entry typed out just past 5am on a saturday.

yesterday was pretty sweet. being yellow (refer to previous entry) is nice in a way because its just enough to stop you from doing your daily tasks, but not enough to keep you from still, somewhat, enjoying your day. here was my day:

thursday night, i shut my phone off so i wouldnt be woken up by kindercare, prospective sub jobs, or just randomness (aka - picture mail spam... thats an explanation for another time). nick woke me up to let me know he was leaving for work (like he does every morning) and i asked him to close the blinds so i wouldnt wake up to the sun. i woke up around 9ish... so much for my plan of noonish.

i was able to eat a small bowl of cereal while watching some prerecorded shows. after laying around for a bit, i realized that i didnt feel completely awful. i decided to get dressed and venture off in the nice weather. i went to return a book to the library (three days late :-x), the bank (a small deposit), and meijer (mainly for popsicles).

so i get to meijer where i purchase banana popsicles, milk, orange juice, a cream soda, cookie dough, apples, and a bottle of advil. i also helped an elderly man decide on which pain reliever he should purchase... advil.

when i got home, i made the cookies... delicious. watched some more tv. then i had the best idea ever... i wanted to take a hot bath. love it!!

now dont think for a second that i am faking this sick thing... i am still yellow. and throughout the day, my throat kept getting more and more congestive. i took my lovely bath and it felt pretty damn nice to take my relaxation to that level.

so im coughing, but no big deal cause i have popsicles and cough drops and a thermometer (security issues, dont ask).... but now here i am. five something in the morning. awake. typing in my log. cough drops are gross at 5am and my thermometer is misplaced (yes, already)!! my throat hurts, my ears hurt, my nose has the beginning signs of stuffyness.... what am i to do?!

have a popsicle.

i am yellow.

i have been sick the past couple days. i went out yesterday to purchase a thermometer. i bought a sweet looking one (made by vikes). depending on your temperature, the screen changes to one of three colors. if your temp is pretty "normal", or on the low side, the screen turns green. if you have a slight temp, it is yellow. if you are pretty much dying, it turns red. well, the past two days, i have been yellow.

now whats funny about this thermometer experience is that when i went to arbor drugs (whoops, cvs) to buy it, i didnt realize alllll the different kinds. i wanted that sweet kind you just stick in your ear, but $30?! no thanks.

then i saw one that is like my moms and i was like "oh, my mom has this kind... but, it doesnt call to me." if im going to use this thing, i want it to be fun (if taking your temperature could ever be considered fun).

as a kid, i would always place it under my tongue, but then flip it around so the numbers faced downward. i wanted it to be a surprise when it beeped!

when i found this colored changing screen one, my instincts kicked in and i was like "this is the one..." i was with a friend of mine and we were both excited to try it out. i didnt even wait to get home. i opened it and stuck it in my mouth as we drove away from the store. i flipped it over so i could be surprised, not just by my temp, but now by what color i would be!!! how exciting!!!!! if i was taking my temperature, lets say, driving 100 miles an hour, how cool is it that i wouldnt necessarily have to read the degrees, but just glance and see what color the screen is!?! genius!!

when it beeped, i flipped it over and the degrees were in celsius!! however, it said i was yellow... so atleast i had some type of clue that i wasnt dying, but just wasnt "normal". we took it back to her condo and both tried reading the instructions as to how to change the settings. in the meantime, she was able to convert my temperature (which was 100.2 degrees F). after failing to figure it out, and being disappointed and sad, i told her "i bet nick could figure it out".

i came home and asked nick right away if he could try changing it. after a smartass comment about me not wantimg to do work by converting it into fahrenheit, nick was able to magically change it to read in fahrenheit.

today, i am at 99.5F. im still yellow, but atleast its going down.

what am i to do now? goto meijer and purchase banana popsicles.

old men. love them.

so... i met a friend for lunch today. we were bullshitting, catching up, whatev. so we're sitting there, blah blah blah, when an old man walked past our booth. no big deal is probably what youre thinking... or maybe get to the point....


as he walked by, he farted.

coincidence?

i told myself last night that i should get myself up sometime around four to check for a sub job. but then i thought "who am i kidding? i dont really want to sub, nor disturb my sleep". but here i am, waking up for "no reason" just before four. coincidence? internal alarm?

the lj

i was taking a look back at my livejournal. yes, i had a live journal. and i had one for a long time. i had one, deleted that one, then got another.
i was reading my livejournal, only to wish now that i hadnt deleted the first one. i find it amusing to read! how much ive grown in these past three or four years since my last entry.
but then, as i was getting further and further back in time, i realized that some, if not most, it not really far from what i write today. its fun to reminisce.




october 7, 2003

no cuts, no butts, no coconuts!


and that was it. the whole entry.
come on!! thats totally something i would say and type in here now! for no reason other then i like it!

25.

for those who didnt know, when i turned 25 years old, i officially declared myself a woman. most girls declare this once theyve realized they got boobs, or they actually see how immature boys really are, or when they discovered how to properly walk in heels. not me. i never wanted (or want) to be a woman... always a girl. a girl doing adult things... so, when i turned 25, it hit me that it was inevitable. either declare it now, or when i have a baby... or something to that extreme :-x

i started doing numerous things to make me feel more "womanly" (or adult-like): read books for leisure, shave my legs more frequently, drink more water in hopes of a better complexion, use coco butter to help prevent stretch marks, and, the most recent, wear a shower cap on the days i dont need to wash my hair.

these subtle changes have been hard... but its all about setting a routine.

a shitty meijer experience.

meijer, the store. its open 24 hours. it has everything from groceries, to furniture, to a mini cafe, to the purple cow (ice cream). it also has a public bathroom. and so here is my story...

i was substitute teaching. am i safe to say that most jobs, if you need to use the restroom, you can take a two minute break and leave your work area? subbing, or working at the daycare for that matter, i am stuck. i have to think about how much im drinking and about when i think i may have to pee. at the daycare, i usually time it so i can go during nap, or lunch, when the kids are virtually occupied in one area at the same time and its easy for someone to cover me. subbing is a completely different story.

luckily, i was at a junior high where there's five minutes between classes, an hour long "prep" (meaning no kids), and a half hour lunch. so, i drank my water like it was noone's business. i timed it so i would goto the bathroom at the end of my prep. i taught two classes that morning, then lunch and prep were back-to-back, so i wanted to go at the last possible second cause i was teaching three classes in the afternoon and the bathroom was on the other side of the school. no worries.

well, my plan worked until my second class came in that afternoon. i had to pee so badly. but i told myself to wait... and wait i did. have you ever waited so long, that you forget you had to pee in the first place? well, that happened to me. as long as i was moving and keeping my mind busy, i completely forgot.

at the end of the day, i left the school, walked across the street to my car and realized, "i have to pee", but i didnt want to walk all the way back to the school. i figured, id be fine until i got home (about a twenty minute drive). so im driving, talking to my dearest friend and fellow art educator, jenn, on the phone, listening to music... i forget again. i called nick when i was close to home seeing what he wanted for dinner. i decided to take a side trip to meijer before heading home.

as soon as i pulled into the meijer parking lot, it hit me like a trend, i had to peeeee!! but, like i mentioned at the beginning of this very long winded entry, that meijer has a public restroom. i parked on the opposite side of the store that i would have normally parked on so i can use this convenient service. i practically ran into the store (shoppers probably thought i was in love with being there). im sure the look in my eyes made me look crazy.

i get in the restroom and felt so lucky to one, finally have a chance to pee and not have to go far to shop, and two, the second stall from the end was available (if possible, i take the second one from the end). i pretty much, you guessed it, ran in there. i pee like theres no tomorrow. i look down for a second and had to do a double take... a smear. poop. people poop. i had stepped in, what im assuming was, people poop. what a shitty meijer experience.

clean vs. soft

me: hows the new bar soap working out?

nick: its nice! i hated having to use your body wash.

me: haha, why?

nick: the bar soap i actually feel like im getting clean. using the body wash i just felt like i was getting... soft.

which to choose...

nick and i had been out of milk for a couple days. this is usually a crucial thing because when i wake up, i eat cereal. everyday.
so we were out of milk. sunday was the first day and it was no big thing. i took my precious time and made pancakes. monday came and still no milk. i cant believe i let myself forget. i had to goto work soon. and still get ready! so, i hurried myself to get ready, gave myself enough time to purchase milk and still eat cereal and make it to work on time.

so on my drive to work, it got me thinking. i was in such a panic for cereal that i realized i couldnt live without it. then i was thinking how much i love it right along side with pizza. if i could eat only two things for the rest of my life, it would be a no brainer... pizza and cereal. but what if i had to choose?

on one hand, pizza is just hands down, an all time favorite. i love it so much and could eat it, literally, everyday.
but on the other hand, theres cereal. an endless amount of flavors and regardless of sugary badness, its an old friend that has kept me full (breakfast, lunch, or dinner) for a number of years. i love it so much.

but i thank my lucky stars i dont have to choose between the two. i wouldnt be able to.

what a ridiculous scenario to begin with.

"everyone loves babies"

the past few days have been a bit draining. alot of not knowing what exactly is going on. alot of waiting.

my grandma passed yesterday. its ironic how i just typed about nicks grandparents, and then the last one alive in my family is now gone. going to "the home" the past few days has been depressing. shes been there for the past three years or so and i have never once visited. do i regret it? im still undecided on that one. did she ever ask why i never came? did she notice? i have no idea. i guess it doesnt matter now. friday i said my goodbye to her. i said what ive been wanting to say for years. whether she heard it or not, i dont know. i hope so. if not, she hears it now.

i think knowing it was almost her time made it a bit easier for some. the waiting was just hard. i think the hardest part for me is seeing my mom. she doesnt see the bad in anyone. theres no bitter feelings towards any situation with her. and if there is, shes a master at hiding it.

i remember when her dad died, i was there when she got the phone call. she told me she would be okay and to goto school that morning. i played over and over in my head how she looked when i left the house. i got to my locker, just slide to the floor and cried. i hated knowing my mom was home while my dad was at work... i shouldve went home, but i didnt. to this day, i dont know why i didnt. and now, whenever there is a loss or just something tragic happening to anyone i love, i try not to show what could be a weakness and just be there for them if they let me. its all i could do to help my mom at that point.

but this time was different. we were all there, no phone call for the news. i was in the other room when i heard my grandma had finally let go. i went to see my mom and she was in the hall with tears in her eyes but laughing. my brother was home and had put my 9 month old nephew on the phone to say "hello"... andrew saved her from what couldve been a very overwhelming moment.

keely told me something her dad had said before and i agree. with situations concerning death, there should always be a baby around. "everyone loves babies" :-)

mom, i know you read this. i will always be your strength when you need me to be... when you feel you lost most of yours. i love you :-*

worst. post. ever.

i had pizza today.
i had pizza two days ago.
i had lasagna yesterday (pretty much another form of pizza).

idea: lets have pizza everyday.

upnorth/newyears.

i went upnorth for a few days with people whom i looove. it has become our new years tradition. i love our friendship. we are all so different, but the same. i love that we can see past them and still get along as if there were no differences at all. i couldnt picture new years without them. keely and patrick are amazing people, i love who they are individually and who they are when together.

upnorth is a wonderful place. a house on a lake in the middle of nowhere. i didnt grow up with it, but it feels as if i have. i couldnt imagine my life without it. it feels like home. i forget about "home" when im there... even for a day. its so quiet. you can do nothing and not feel guilty for it. winter or summer, theres always something to do. and the best part is when you go, you only see people you want to see. you wouldnt invite just anyone up there... only people you can stand to be around.

i love knowing that my future children will have this wonderful place. its a vacation evertime you go! whether for a week or just a weekend.

the first night there we saw ten deer hanging out in the backyard... TEN DEER!!! thats insane. it was beautiful.

we discussed new years resolutions... i always have a list, but only a couple i follow through with. the biggest one i want to accomplish this year is getting a "real" job. the next one, getting my art studio in order and actually creating art for fun. and lastly, exercise. i dont want to be a statistic of when you get married you let yourself go... yuckie. lets tone people!! but i think i should look into eating better first? i have no clue what im doing.

so looking back, 2008 was an excellent year for me. graduated. got married. bought a house. i probably will never top last year, but i can certainly try.

let's get serious for a moment...

nicks grandparents from both sides came over for dinner today... i love them. i tell nick everytime we visit with them how lucky he is to have such beautiful people involved in his life. he says he knows, but he really doesnt.

i always felt a void about not really having, what most would call, a normal upbringing with grandparents. i always felt jipped. but getting to know his grandparents, having all four still living, is amazing. i want to hear all about thier life. i love seeing them laugh. i love seeing them interact with nick (or nicky as his dede calls him). they give me advice, kiss me on the lips, hold my hands as they tell me they love me. its a nice warm feeling... a feeling that has filled that void (for the most part).

i pray for my grandparents (and great grandma) a lot. i hope they look down on me and smile... i hope they know that i feel thier love, even without them here.

foreign noises...

last night i kept waking up to the crazy weather. it sounded like someone up there was pissed off. nick got up and walked around and looked out, what seemed to me, every window in the house. i finally got up to look outside and it wasnt as crazy as it sounded. lightning in the far horizon, winds making the trees cry, but other then that, nothing. no snow, rain, hail, bananas, nothing. it was kind of annoying actually cause im still trying to get used to these foreign noises in my house. i woke up at maybe 5 am and i couldve swore nick was up walking around again, but he was right next to me. it was wierd and kind of scary... but not a scary where i pee myself, but a scarey where i just keep reminding myself that i will get used to the noises... that i have to get used to them in order to survive here for the next million years.

a bush/tree thing in my backyard uprooted itself due to the wind... what a little bitch. all the other ones stayed put. he mustve just lost his balance... or hated his new owners and wanted a way out.